Hi There!
So,
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It's been a week since my last confession.
These are my sins.
I had impure thoughts many times every day."
That was a typical lead for the "soul script" of teenage boys
coming to confession when I was a young priest.
Their "impure thoughts" were sexual images and fantasies
sprung from a pubescent "hormonal upheaval."
Well, this confessor needs to confess that
I, too, am plagued with
"impure thoughts many times every day."
Do I have your attention?
You see, that's my problem:
ATTENTION !!!
My attention to fundamental, foundation, deep down
Goodness - God -
is blurred to blindness
by an impure haze over my spirit, my center self, my soul.
Its pollutants are pride, selfishness, fear, laziness,
and a batch of not a bit likable "impurities."
It's a terrible play in too many acts:
- Feigning attention while not really being interested in a person
- Smiling as a defense rather than as a soul stretch
- Saying the right thing for the totally wrong reason
- Planning next weeks schedule at a Bach concert
- Mentally reviewing my investment portfolio while playing with the kids
- Strolling through Lockwood Gardens and brewing up a really nasty response
to a really nasty relative
- Reading sacred texts to anchor my position
rather than be treated to a revelation of Goodness.
- Volunteering at Habitat for Humanity to rack up community service points at work.
These "impurities," and their smudged cousins, cause a disconnect
between my real self, my soul self, my Center Self and
The Good, The God, of Right Now, Right Here.
That Goodness Present, That God Present, is just that
in people, daffodils, indeed all of nature, service, striving for social justice,
sacred texts, work, science, learning, a glass of wine, making love, contemplation and prayer,
the arts - Goodness present in everyone and everywhere.
The trouble is, I'm not!
My "impurities" haze over this Goodness Present.
All this became ever clearer to me the other day.
I was spending time with a friend.
There's a lot of Good Present in him.
I was missing most of it because I was busy trying to score points
as a saint and sage with him.
Well, that's this edition of My True Confessions.
Here's the hope:
- To purely, to really notice God Present however, wherever that presence manifests.
- To give "soul attention" (i.e. "Center Self" attention )
to wherever I may be,
to whomever I may be with.
- To give myself an Attention Check every morning, noon and night
( how real am I at really being present to all that is present? )
- To thank " God Present " for waiting 'til I get there!!!
Here it is
SCRIPTURE STRAIGHT
from my tradition:
The Pollution:
" There are those who are pure in their own eyes
and yet are not cleansed of their own filth."
Proverbs 30:12
The Promise:
" Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God."
Matthew 5:8
Let's clean the lens!
" God Present " loves you, and so do I ( Really!)
John Frank
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