Wednesday, January 11, 2023

KNEAD


Dear All of Us, 

If you want a treat,

a grounding that lifts, 

    A Soul Smile,

please do get with the 

    Pasta Grannies

Each delightful episode

on YouTube features

a different Italian nonne 

     (grandmother)

busy in her kitchen

kneading dough 

to its potential perfect 

      - pasta -

These weather worn,

long lived, endearing women,

with twinkles in their eyes

and chuckles in their words, 

offer a warm, freeing

show and tell. 

They share their 

experience and way,

vigorously and variously

       Kneading

.

They work the dough 

this way and that.

They pick it up and 

throw it down.

It takes shape only to be 

reworked into another.

They press, pull, push 

and roll the dough 

again and again.

Each time it mixes

better blended.

Finally the dough is shaped 

into a wonderful readiness 

for the transformation into

what it's ultimately all about 

         - pasta -


Our spiritual lives 

are a lot like that.

We get worked 

and reworked 

again and again.

Our Soul Scape 

  And Shape

is reshaped 

only to be reshaped

many times over.

It can be rough at times.

There's a lot of 

press, pull, push 

and roll out to it.

Just like the dough,

we sometimes 

get thrown down

pretty hard.

For all of that

we are being worked

to our potential perfect.

It's transformative.


There's a child's simple faith,

reworked through the

ups and downs 

of adolescence.


As adults, that gets 

a lot of push and pull

over the years

as we are blended,

kneaded ever more toward 

our perfection potential. 

We are worked through 

stages of doubt, delight,

enlightenment, aridity, 

ecstasy, deconstruct and 

blending re-formations.


Resist it and we are like 

a lump of unfished potential

spoiling on the kitchen table.

Be pliable, we are reworked, 

rolled ready for 

a matured newness.

We die to what was 

to live to what can be.


Paul puts it these ways:

    "For if we have died with Him, 

     we will also live with Him."

        1 Timothy 2:11

    "For to me, living is Christ 

         and dying is gain."

          Philippians 1:21

It's a progressive 

dying and rising,

a reshaping, 

a kneading 

to the ever more 

real, right and alive.


Watching those dear old

   Pasta Grannies

knead away gives us 

a delightful lift.

They are charming.

They provide us with

a kitchen class,

an at home example of

life's working and reworking.


I suspect if Jesus 

were sharing parables 

these days he'd switch on 

    Pasta Grannies 

        for us

  a pasta paradigm 

           of

  needed kneading


      With Love 

 Next to you here in

     Life's kitchen,

      John Frank

         ******


If you have 

time and interest,

here's one man's

  - this man's -

sharing a bit of his

spiritual kneading -

so far anyway.

It's offered as an example, 

certainly not a model.


I have gone through 

well more than three quarters 

of a century being 

spiritually kneaded 

again and again,

all sorts of times and ways.


The early days as a little boy

were certainly a mix,

often a mix up.

My Dad was a good man, 

a damaged man.

He destabilized our family.

A lot of uncertainty and fear.

I wet the bed until I was eleven.


Mom was love in person.

Warm, stable, caring, giving 

and she believed in me,

secured and stabilized me

in the war zone of 

dysfunctional fathering.


At the same time there were 

the wonderful priests and sisters.

They provide a stabilizing 

warmth, welcome and wisdom 

at church and school.

I spent a lot of time there.

A wonderous, holy awe,

a God-Centeredness,

was born and grew.

There was a rootedness 

reaching from earth 

heavenward.

It's still here.

A lot of push, pull,

pain and progress.

 

Then came puberty 

and emotional, sexual, 

psychological, spiritual upset.

Father Joe Sheehan 

was my "father".

He stayed right with me,

steadied me stand-up-sure, 

he got me on my feet,

renewed, different 

and at home with

my emerging self.

A stretching for sure.


There were the splendid years 

at the Minor Seminary 

all through my teens.

Good men showed me 

how to be a good man.

Ideals abounded.

Lots of sports and physical work.

A classical education 

you couldn't buy today.

Most of all I was fathered

ever more and deeper by

Father Anthony Vivona.

He was counselor.

He was spiritual director.

He opened the wonders 

of the spiritual life to me.

He introduced me to 

the writings of

Thomas Merton.

Merton spoke God to me.

He still does.

Those years were a

monastic experience 

and blessing.

More shaping up.


As twenty came along

so did vocational 

questioning, confusion.

        Celibacy??

I spent a year and a half 

as a novice with the

Christian Brothers,

a religious community

dedicated to education.

Could this be a way 

to be family with children

in a celibate manner?

The Novice Master was

Brother Gabrial

and he was a master 

of the spiritual life.

I still feel his care and wisdom.

I really loved the community life.

It became clear, though,  

that pastoring was the call.

Definitely a reshaping,

a clarifying.


That got me to 

St. Mary's in Kentucky

for seminary college.

Again, wonderful community, 

marvelous learning,

spiritual deepening.

It also involved me with 

the Trappist monks at

The Abbey of Gethsemani

which was close by.

A lot of intellectual, community,

spiritual, vocational roll out.


On to the Major Seminary

at Catholic University 

in Washington.

The church and theology

were in flux.

It was the 1960's and

Vatican ll.

A lot of theological, 

ecclesial, spiritual,

vocational props

were knocked out 

from under many of us.

An uncomfortable gift.

I had to find new ways 

to move along -

new understandings, 

and approaches.

Huge reset.


I was ordained a deacon

in the midst of 

riot and martial law

here in Washington, DC

at the time of 

MLK's assassination.

It was frightening 

and emblematic -

ordained in chaos. 

The church and ministry 

have been rather that way 

ever since.

Repetitive reformulations of

theology and pastoral practice.


My Deacon Year was spent 

serving part time in two parishes.

The pastor of one was a nasty drunk.

The pastor of the other was 

a happy, warm, fun-loving man,

Father Charlie Wilk.

He was also the best

at pastoral ministry 

I have ever met.

He showed me how to pastor.

It wasn't so much taught as caught.

A push and a pull.

A slam down with one pastor.

A slam dunk with another.

 

Then ordination to the priesthood.

Served in a variety of churches

At one point I was assigned 

to teach full time 

at a diocesan high school.

That scarred the bejeepbers out of me.

Turned out to be a backwards blessing.

I feel in love with those crazy, 

wild, weird, dear and delightful kids.

I also discovered anew that I have 

a gift and enthusiasm 

for teaching.

Then BOOM!!

The Bishop made me

Assistant Superintendent 

of Schools for the Diocese.

We had close to a hundred schools.

I was good at it, 

but hated being a bureaucrat.


During this period, I realized 

I could not in conscience

continue to support and represent 

much of the church's stands

and practices.

REALLY ROUGH!!

So much roiling in my soul!

Mid-forties not exactly 

a comfortable time for 

a denominational change.

Transferred to 

The United Methodist Church.

John Wesley:

     "In essential we are one. 

      In all else we think and let think."

      The Core: Personal and Social Holiness.

                     Love God, neighbor, self.

It has turned out wonderfully well

these thirty-five years since.

I tease about being right at home

with the messy Methodists.

Much like Jesus and his original twelve!

Not at all perfect, very real and vigorous.

            A God Gift.

A fresh, new, good way forward.

It cost a lot. 

Many colleagues and friends

disowned me.


All of a sudden 

I was free to marry 

and did I ever!

Now there's change,

a rework and 

wonderfully so.

My wife is so good, 

generous and alive.

(and she is superb cook!!)

We've become 

Life Companions.

I am blessed, I know it and 

I am so grateful.

We have three 

dear daughters,

a fine son in love, 

       AND

  GRAND SON, 

"Ollie the Younger".

Lots of learning, 

give and take, 

stretching and being stretched.

My wife and I have served 

a number of good churches 

as a team.


Over the years I connected with 

Jerry May and Richard Rohr.

Great helps - wonderful spiritual guides,

a reframing and deepening 

of so much because of them.


There was the development of 

an extensive Men's Ministry,

one of the best things I ever did.

In all, a major and

Holy Reshaping.


I "retired" to 

teaching theology at

Centenary University 

and also to offering 

support to younger pastors.

Things shaped up in

surprising and 

wonderful new ways.


Now, the last lap.

Leaning the spirituality 

of old age.

Much different and 

a lot of change.

The body wares down.

My spirit and mind sore!

I get to do a little 

spiritual direction.

I discovered a 

ministry in writing.

So good to share here 

with you all each week.

Most of all, 

there's some final kneading

in the works -

just letting God have me 

       - all of me -

just being in Being, 

just being in Love,

simple and quiet,

waiting the final roll out

and transformation to 

     SURPRISE


 Well, there are some 

Snippets of Soul Kneading.

May they encourage you 

in yours.

In your ways may you 

be open, pliable, 

strong and responsive

as you are kneaded 

forth and full.

I pray for you and 

hold you all in 

God's Delightful Love.

      John Frank

       ******


         WELCOME

               to

       frankly speaking

  spirituality for the street

johnfrankshares.blogspot.com


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      Love to all.

 See you next week.

             ******